Under no circumstances should we assume that filmmakers, through their art, are always trying to contribute to our understanding of our place in the grand scheme of things. More regularly, it’s just another job for all concerned, with the bottom line being the only thing that matters. Sequels rule at present (with prequels looming large as the new big money spinner), and if a studio has a previous winner the temptation to see it as a cash cow is irresistible. Ted 2, as crass and ugly and fundamentally stupid as the original, is evidence of nothing more than its creator Seth MacFarlane’s lamentable skill at striking a chord with the aggressive immaturity of the idiot bloke who refuses to grow up.
The eponymous teddy bear (voiced by MacFarlane) is now married to Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). They want to have a baby but for obvious reasons can’t manage it, so in the end they opt for surrogacy. The movie’s conflict develops when Ted is deemed to be a possession rather than a person and the rights of the underdog, of ‘the Other’, are taken to court. That MacFarlane might seriously consider himself a champion of those whom society marginalises by writing such a brutally dumb screenplay beggars belief. And the characters – well, they are simply obnoxious. If you can take to your heart people who get off their face and think it cool to throw apples from the rooftop at joggers passing by below, then be my guest to get out of my world.
The jokes are terribly laboured and, almost without exception, not very funny to anybody who has an IQ higher than a retarded gnat’s, while the try-hard references to popular culture are so self-congratulatory in their numbskull execution as to be embarrassing. Jay Leno and Liam Neeson allow themselves to be roped into critically awful and inconsequential cameo gags, while a half-hearted Mark Wahlberg and his fellow cast members go for the world record in saying ‘black cocks’ on screen. Unsuitable for anybody with half a brain.