
Mayor Kobayashi stood among the dignitaries in the park, between the flagpole and a eucalyptus tree, but not getting any shade from either. It was Appreciation Day, and nothing could go wrong.
The Emperor’s picture dominated the scene, as was appropriate, and the school children in their patriotic kimonos were quiet and attentive. The other VIPs were in their plastic chairs, pretending to listen to the speeches. Only one was asleep so far, a fat local industrialist who had helped pay for all this, but he had his sunglasses on, so that was an improvement on last year.
Insects sang in the trees, which was annoying, but then Mr Kobayashi became aware of something else, a murmuring from the back of the crowd. He moved his head slightly to see, and frowned as he saw the cause of the disturbance.
It was the Second Australians, causing trouble as usual. They hadn’t taken any care to dress appropriately for Appreciation Day, but were wearing their usual grubby T-shirts, thongs and towelling hats, with untidy hair sticking out in all directions. One had a made a crude flag containing the cross of their former colonisers. He saw one of their women snigger and jeer, pointing at something on the stage, but was unable to catch the eye of the security detail, who were distracted by their phones, watching the Appreciation Day battle re-enactments beamed in from across the Empire.
We brought them civilisation!
Mr Kobayashi wondered what it would take to make the Second Australians happy. Free beer? Then he remembered the year the council had tried that, and shuddered at the memory.
He thought about the many reforms that had been brought in since the war. They were allowed to speak their own language now, as long as the children learned Japanese as well. They were allowed to inter-marry without a certificate from the central authority. They could earn their own money, even rent land. And then the greatest concession, the country’s name, returned to Australia. Perhaps all these gestures of kindness and conciliation had simply made the Second Australians harder to control?
The younger ones had no respect for anyone, or anything, it seemed. He watched as one picked his nose, examined it, then flicked it into the hair of his sister. What was wrong with these people?
After the main ceremony, there would be a side event with special catering for the Second Australians, where they could eat the burned meat they liked with sugary red sauce, and listen to their tuneless music. Council was paying for it, and Mr Kobayashi had been among the votes of approval for the decision, but now he regretted it. Maybe it would be better if nothing was done to lure them in to participate?
They should be grateful
Then his attention was captured by a tiny tot, a very young Second Australian with blue eyes who was coming up to the stage to collect some kind of award. He had to admit they could be charming when they were very young. Well, some of them at least.
Mr Kobayashi caught the eye of a very elderly veteran of the war, who had only one arm and was in a wheelchair. He remembered his own grandfather, who had died in the assault on Darwin after crossing New Guinea from the north. He remembered his uncle, who had been in the submarine corps that had liberated Sydney with barely a shot.
He remembered the miraculous bombs that had ended the war, destroying London, New York and Washington. Ah well, you can’t make okonomiyaki without breaking eggs, and nothing like that had happened here anyway. The cities had been left mostly intact, and most of the civilian population had been unharmed, in a smooth transfer of power.
Food, flower arranging and vending machines
Now they had decent food, flower arranging, vending machines for everything, and bullet trains. What had the Second Australians ever achieved by comparison?
Mr Kobayashi knew his history. When the Second Australians first arrived in this country, they killed most of the people, along with the trees and native animals. They covered the continent with rabbits and sheep, turning even more of it into desert, then wasted their time watching horses run in circles. Such idiotic people didn’t deserve a country of their own. It had all been a mistake, and the Empire had corrected it.
As sweat dribbled down his collar, Mayor Kobayashi thought of the many sacrifices that had been necessary to improve the lot of the Second Australians.
Why were they so unappreciative?


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